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The Birthday Rules: Critical Conversations to Have with Your Children (Ages 6 to 16)

  • When should children be allowed to have mobile devices?

  • When should discussions of bullying take place?

  • When will children be responsible enough to surf the Internet on their own

  • When should a parent talk to their children about depression and suicide?

In our fast-paced world consisting of ever-changing technology and evolving social norms, parents are finding the traditional challenges of raising well-adjusted, self-confident and socially responsible children ever more difficult. As parents, we struggle with when to grant certain permissions and when to have difficult conversations. We often avoid such decisions, waiting until an external event forces the conversation or too many kids at school have been granted the same permission. To meet these challenges, parents need a framework that can adjust to the development needs of each child, the values of each community and the means of each family. The Birthday Rules provides that framework.

The Birthday Rules provides a fun and flexible framework of an annual review process combined with a structure for increasing permissions, responsibilities and conversations. We suggest using a child’s birthday as not only a time to celebrate, but also as an excellent opportunity to have important conversations, grant desired permissions and explain the responsibilities that go along with those permissions.

The Birthday Rules offers a structure to help with one of the most important tasks parents have—creating a safe environment to communicate and demonstrate unconditional love.